Site of Superstar Director/Tenor’s New Production Revealed

Alfredo Skywalker (Joanna)

Site of Superstar Director/Tenor’s New Production Revealed

In a stunning disclosure that has rocked the opera world, The Martian Times has announced that, after unprecedented speculation, the Red Planet has won the right to host the premier of mega-tenor Rolando Villazón’s upcoming production of Verdi’s beloved classic, La traviata. According to Thork “Sparky” Zardor, the proud mayor of the Martian capital, Rolandopolis: “So you think we Martians are all green, huh? Well, the rest of the universe is green with envy right about now! Har, har! Get it? I crack myself up!”

Following the recent smash hit of Villazón’s L’Elisir d’amore in Baden-Baden, Germany, Planet Earth, major opera houses around the solar system have been tripping over one another to win the bragging rights for what would be the coup of the decade. Sources close to the investigation state that opera houses on Earth alone, such as those in London, Paris, Milan, Barcelona, and Rochester, New York and countless others, engaged in a bitter bidding war that left more than one opera director slumped over a row of empty shot glasses, singing “Libiamo ne'lieti calici,” then crying for his mama. When asked what finally tipped the scales in the favor of Mars, Mr. Zardor speculated that the Star Wars theme proposed by the wildly-imaginative director seemed especially well suited to the extraterrestrial environment offered by Mars.

“Just think of it!” effused Mr. Zardor. “Alfredo Skywalker in bitter conflict with his papa, Darth Vader, cleverly disguised as the lovable curmudgeon, Giorgio Germont. The duel with the light sabers! Wow, Freud and Verdi would have a field day with that! The Storm Troopers making their grand entrance at Flora’s party! The whole thing is out of this world!”

Reaction on the Red Planet has been a dizzying explosion of euphoria, exultation, and unmitigated delirium. Martian church bells rang at the announcement, and a general holiday was declared for the jubilant populace. Mr. Villazón’s enormous and ardent public has vowed to wear replicas of his signature Lucky Boxers as a show of support for their beloved tenor at the premier, a bold move that has already been approved by the extremely picky Martian Fashion Police.

“He shall be given the keys to the city named after him and declared an honorary Martian,” proclaimed the exultant mayor. “We hope that the royal Martian treatment Mr. Villazón will be accorded will persuade him to make Rolandopolis his permanent home. “

Reliable sources have suggested that the rockstar director/tenor is already planning yet another outer-space themed production, this time focusing on one of Puccini’s classic favorites. Tentatively entitled Close Encounters of the Bohemian Kind, the opera tells the story of young love tragically cut short when Rodolfo courageously boards the spaceship bound for an alien world without his beloved humble seamstress, Mimi, who spurns true love for a thrilling day at the New York State Championship Quilting Bee. Details of both productions will follow as they become available.

Joanna from New York